So it’s 3AM and i’m still up. I hate this feeling. I’ve been going around in circles over this one guy for over 5 years. I’ve been away in China for a few years but every time I’m in the Philippines, we always find time to see each other. It’s cruel because it hurts but it’s ok because it feels good, too. There are topics that I never discuss with anyone else but with him and there are types of conversations that only take place between the two us because we understand each other very well. We are so much alike in many ways, have similar views in life, similar ways of resolving issues, and same interests. I know he knows how much I like him but it’s evident that he is not interested in me THAT way because he is not into femboys (I am quite sure of that) and I can’t do anything about that. Every time I make the decision to let go and move on, he does something (probably unintentionally) that will make me change my mind and go on in circles again. I can’t blame him. It must be me. How do you let go of someone you never had?